I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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