u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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