I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
