Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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