marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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