You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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