There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
