I wish i was in the wii world.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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