There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
