it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
