He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
