i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
