It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
