We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
