idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
