I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
