and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
