ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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