Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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