It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
and you fell through a lawn chair
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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