I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Sext me about skeletons
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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