Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
