i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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