thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
