Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
