How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
