Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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