dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
