Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This toilet bowl is my home.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
