Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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