heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize