Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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