He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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