i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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