Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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(205): View more from Alabama

we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.

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(315): View more from New York

apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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(518): View more from New York

my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks

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(217): View more from Illinois

I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?

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(631): View more from New York

I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever

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(585): View more from New York

I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.

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