now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i now understand why vodka
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
