Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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