Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
