Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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