that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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