You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
