i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize