I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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