i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
