Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
