just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
