good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
