he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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