Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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