I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
