Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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