What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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