Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
