The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
