I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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