your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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