You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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