Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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