wanna go halves on a baby?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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