but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Girls should come with a carfax report
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
