Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
