you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize