Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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