Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
